Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
