wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
