How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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