HIV tests are more positive than that guy
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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