Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
