I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
