I could have mohawked her pubes.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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