I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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