this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
