I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize