Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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