do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I smell stomach acid.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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