It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
