I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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