She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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