I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
