gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
