I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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