So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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