In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and she was petting her beer can
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
