how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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