it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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