Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
