Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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