I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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