you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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