her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
