you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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