i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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