You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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