You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
