then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize