Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
