Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
