I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
