Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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