Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
