I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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