wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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