We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
