In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
