you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
