just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
