I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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