You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize