hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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