Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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