All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
