i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
