I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
