I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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