where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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