just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
