bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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