you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
