Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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