So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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