I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
