Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
