Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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