Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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