4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We have so much sex to catch up on
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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