This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
