toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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