is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
