youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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