Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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